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I am Sparkles of Hope, Bipolar Mixed State and A FIGHTER! Music is a refuge from this disease so I refer to it a lot in my journals, blogs, conversations. Nik Kershaw, the musician, has a song called 'Wouldn't Be Good' that has lyrics that say: "It's getting harder just keeping life and soul together. I'm sick of fighting even though I know I should. The cold is biting through each and every nerve and fibre. My broken spirit is frozen to the core. Don't wanna be here no more." I have felt this way for years struggling to find answers, the right medication combinations, to keep a job, to please family and friends by putting up a facade. What has kept me going is, just like every single person on this planet, including Bipolars, have something no one else can do before they can leave this life. They are the only individuals who can perform this task. You cannot be replaced no matter how you rationalise it. I've got to keep fighting on my journey. You've got to keep fighting on your journey.

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